Breaking Down Barriers

I love my husband. I do. I truly love him. For all the complaining I do about him, I know there is no one else in this world who I could share my life with so completely, so honestly, and exhaustively. Don't get me wrong, the man does drive me crazy more often that not, but how boring would it be if he didn't? But you know what? He gets me. He gets us. And that's REALLY special.

We definitely have our differences. Actually, we've got many. First and most noticible, we are a mixed-race family. I am Filipino and M is Caucasian. We grew up in different ethnicities, different cultures, different traditions. Now, we both grew up in Southern California, so while there are a lot of similarities, there are still just as many differences. When we first got married I explained to M my feelings on a bi-racial family. Truth of the matter is, Southern California is host to many, many different ethnicities, and, for the most part, I've always had a very diverse group of friends, even growing up. M did too. Because of the diversity of the area in which we live, I will say that I've never experienced outright acts of bigotry or discrimination, at least against me. Thankfully. But don't for a minute think that I'm not completely and consciously aware that I am different. That I come from a different background and culture. That's not a good or bad thing. It's nothing that hangs over my head or anything. It's just there. It's just a fact.

So I tried my best to explain this feeling of "different" to M. God bless him, he tried his best to understand, but without living it or feeling it in your heart, he and I both knew he wasn't really "getting" it. But my purpose in explaining this to him was so that he would know that his own children would feel this way. At least sometimes. And maybe more acutely because they would be bi-racial. Who knows...I am not bi-racial so I don't understand how that might feel. But M needed to know that even in a diverse society these issues are out there. It's easy to ignore them or live your life thinking/believing that they aren't there. I guess I was just trying to raise awareness.

M means so much to me because he embraces our differences. He embraces and loves that we come from different backgrounds. Even more important, he embraces the significance of raising children with the knowledge and appreciation of their heritage and cultural background. M supports and is excited that I try to speak to the kid in Tagalog...that I am adamant about my children being multi-lingual. He loves to try new and foreign things, in fact, he's more brave about it than I am.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because M told me the other night he was watching Oprah (and I'm sure he's going to KILL me for blabbing to the internet community that my husband watches Oprah - sorry babe) and an especially moving piece came on. It was called Breaking Down Barriers and it was an in-depth look at a "typical" American High School. What it revealed was underlying racial and class tension that you wouldn't automatically assume was there. But it was...and this high school accepted a challenge to attempt to create a more unified community. The episode touched something in M. He told me that now he felt he understood what I was talking about when I explained the "awareness". And he felt it because he understood that one day, almost certainly, he would have to deal with someone saying something or doing something or judging his kid not because of his character, not because of his personality, but because of his looks. Because of the color of his skin or the slant of his eyes. And that broke his heart.

I love that I share my life with someone who has the ability to open his mind and heart to let this stuff in. I love that I am raising my family with a man who will teach his children to do the same. I can be an awesome mother...I can try and give my children everything they need and want. But I cannot teach my son to be a man. Thankfully, he has one of the best examples I've ever met.

It's A Small World

So the kid is recently obsessed with "It's a Small World", the ride at Disneyland. And I mean OBSESSED. To the point where he is singing the damn song every 5 minutes. Like belting it out at the top of his lungs. The other morning, M and I woke to "It's a Small World" at a volume that would have the neighbors calling to complain at 6:00AM. The kid has the vocal volume of Whitney Houston. No need for a microphone.

His grandparents took him on a trip to Disneyland last week. He forced them to ride the attraction FIVE times. Then, when they tried to leave, he cried. He threw a tantrum. A tantrum of proportions so big that a cast member came over and made him an "honorary citizen of Disneyland" just to shut him up. Good thing mama wasn't there.

Want to know how far the obsession goes? I happened to stumble upon this video on YouTube. Thank you ru42 who shot it. The kid watches this on the computer practically 10 times a day. It allows me to take a shower and do some dishes. God bless YouTube. When it starts, he pumps his fists in the air and declares, "Go Small World! Go Small World!" Then he goes on to sing along...the WHOLE time.


Distressing news, though. Apparently the Small World ride at Disneyland is in need of some serious rehab. Figures. It's an old ride and the boats scrape along the bottom. So, starting January 17, it goes down for rehab and doesn't reopen UNTIL NOVEMBER. Crapity crap crap. Looks like no more Disneyland visits until December, 2008.

I am a derelict blogger

There. I've admitted it. I haven't blogged in almost a month. To my one fan out there who checks my blog, my sincere apologies.

The holidays are tough. My work schedule allows me to take about a week and a half off around the holidays due to campus closure, but honestly, those are the days that are the most hectic and stressful of the entire year! I do love the holidays, but I have to say, they take a toll on you. I couldn't wait to get back to work - if only to relax from my "vacation."

As if we didn't have enough going on over the past couple of weeks, we dipped our toes into the potty-training arena. It did not go well. And at this point, I'm perfectly ok with sending the kid to kindergarten in diapers. I had these grandiose ideas of going cold turkey and believing that the kid would be potty trained in 3 days. What in the hell was I smoking? Idealistic thoughts of a first-time parent.

So now we are back to work, the kid is back in daycare, and we are settling back into our routine. Thank the stars. I gotta say, I am definitely a routine person. I know that doesn't sound sexy...in fact, it makes me sound boring and fuddy-duddy. But I don't care. I love my routine. It keeps me going...let's me know that something is getting done. Less stressful than being on a so-called "vacation." To me, vacation equals chaos...and mama no likey.

I will attempt, in this new year (I don't do resolutions) to keep up with the blogging. To come out of the land of neglect. And, for my one fan, some pictures from the holiday season...please enjoy.

Every year on Christmas Eve morn, we head to Laguna Beach. We usually have a nice breakfast and take pictures on the beach. This year, however, we got a late start and ended up just having a late lunch. But here are some pictures:

This is cheesy, but I love it. Every year, we take a picture of the kid next to this miniature tree. I just like to see him grow every year. Please pay no attention to the "I might be constipated" smile on his face...when you ask the kid to smile this is what you get:


Building sand castles with mommy:



The tree and all the presents on Christmas morn:


Parking garage from Plan Toys - highly recommended! And a new bike!



and finally...the family shot:

Oh the horror!

Of getting a haircut. The kid HATES getting haircuts. Which is a tad unfortunate because he was born with a TON of hair and his hair grows at the speed of light. He had his first cut at age 10 months, and it's been downhill since then. You should see the sheer terror that fills his eyes as we approach the kiddie salon. Then there is the kicking and screaming. For the entire 8-10 minutes, I've got to hold a vice-like grip on the kid. He gets full-body shakes. Any parent who has taken their kid to the pediatrician to get shots knows what I mean with the full-body shakes.

But interestingly enough, the kid has NO fear of the doctor. In fact, he loves visiting his pediatrician. While he's waiting in the waiting room, he sits and reads the magazines or watches TV. Then when the nurse calls him back, he happily gets up and struts back to the exam room. He marches over to the scale and stands proudly on it, and when the doctor comes into the room he listens and obeys all prompts of, "deep breath", etc. He even sits still and quiet for shots! Then, when it's all over, he waves and tells the pediatrician "Thank You!" and he blows kisses to the nurses!!!! I should ask the pediatrician if he does haircuts.

Anyway, last night we took the kid to get a haircut. I try to hold off as long as possible because I know how much he hates it, but seriously, his hair was so long it was practically covering his eyes. So in we went. Actually, this visit wasn't as bad as previous visits. It only took one of us to hold him down this time. So M's hands were free to take a little video snippet. Here it is. Enjoy...relax.

EDITED: Ok, I had to remove the video because the hosting site is doing some weird things. I'll post a picture soon...

Giving back

In the spirit of giving and as prompted by the kid, I just wanted to post some organizations that I feel do a lot of good in this world. My family has seen incredible blessings, and it only feels right that we should spread the joy.

I love the philosophy behind the Seva Foundation. This rings so true to me, "...compassion is not just about helping those less fortunate than ourselves, it's about the realization that we are all connected as one human family." I love that they have programs centered around sustainability. Not just helping others, but helping others help themselves. One programs that is close to my heart is Healthy Mothers and Babies. Gifts donated in this program go to helping mothers and babies stay safe and healthy by supporting midwifery care in Mayan communities.

Another neat charitable organization is DonorsChoose.org With this organization, you browse through teacher-submitted project proposals for materials or experiences their students need to learn. I love the creativity and passion that these teachers bring to the classroom. And all they need are funds to put their ideas to work...to help students broaden their thinking and experience new things. It's a totally cool idea.

For those of you close to the OC, I'm sure you've heard about Casa. This organization trains community volunteers and to serve as powerful mentors and advocates for Orange County's most severely abused, abandoned and neglected children. It's amazing what a difference one person can make in someone's life. Whenever I read this statistic on their webpage, "On any given day in Orange County, there are nearly 3,000 children who have been removed from their parents' care and placed in out-of-home care due to abuse or neglect.", my heart weeps. These are CHILDREN. These are GOD's GIFTS. But the people at Casa are trying to make sense out of a senseless world.

And one more, a tried and true organization, the American Red Cross. A few months ago, wildfires ravaged much of Southern California. Thousands were left without homes as they watched them burn to the ground. Many lost everything. The American Red Cross worked so quickly and diligently to set up temporary housing for victims and evacuees. It was a huge job, but they were ready for the task. They are a huge organization and have been around forever...and they continue to get it right.

I hope that this Holiday Season finds you and yours with blessings beyond your dreams.

If only he could.

M told me a funny story last week. We've all been feeling under the weather lately (can't seem to kick these darn colds!) and one day last week the kid and M stayed home to just chill. M was trying to put the kid down for a nap so they were both lazily lounging on the bed. The kid had his head on M's chest - and M wasn't wearing a t-shirt. Word of explanation here, like most adult men, M's got hair on his chest. Anyway, the kid is resting his head on M's bare chest and suddenly looks up at M with a disturbed look on his face. While pulling on M's chest hair, he says, "Daddy, this is yucky. Take it off."

Gotta love kids for their honesty. He doesn't like it, he tells you as much.

Stroke of genius

Parenting absolute: you kid is not going to like taking medicine. In fact, your kid will struggle with you practically every time...especially when they get to the age that they are aware of what's going on. A couple of nights ago, the kid was running a fever. I needed to give him Motrin, but wasn't necessarily up for the fight. Enter M. He comes in with the Motrin already measured in the dosage spoon and tells the kid he's got some "vitamin juice". GENIUS! The kid LOVES his flinstone vitamins. With a huge grin on his face, the kid runs to M's outstretched hand and takes the dosage spoon, gulping down the Motrin and exclaiming, "yummy!"

Yee haw. Struggle averted.

Don't worry, I am making sure that the Motrin is WELL out of reach to 2-year-old hands.