You know, in the course of any given day, I beat myself up for not being an ideal mom. I don't know what it is, but it's so much easier for me to find the flaws in my parenting than for me to recognize that I *might* be doing an ok job. In fact, I *might* be doing a good job (gasp!). Yesterday, I received a report from the kid's teacher that he bit another kid. A word of explanation here, we've been struggling with the kid's behavior at daycare for the better part of a year now. Right around his second birthday, the biting and pushing were an almost daily occurance...and if any of you are the parent of "that kid", then you know the guilt and heartache we went through. No one wants their kid to be "that kid" and we did everything we could to curb his behavior. I will say, though, that his caregivers and the daycare director have been so wonderful about this. While M and I were cowering in the corner, feeling guilty, trying to blurt out 100 different explanations of what the source of the problem was, and pledging earnestly that we would do everything we could to help stop the behavior, they were so sweet and supportive. Never a negative word left their lips, only positive thoughts and guidance. A lot of it had to do with his inability to communicate effectively, but now that his speech has really come around, we haven't had these problems. Until yesterday. Yesterday was the first time in a long time where we had a biting incident. So of course, I drove home feeling dejected and wondering what, as a parent, I did wrong.
But as we were getting ready for work/school today, I noticed something else in the kid's behavior. He's extremely polite. He says "please" and "thank you" in the proper way and without being prompted. When he climbed into my bed to watch TV while I was getting ready, he said to me, "Miss Spider, please." When I handed him his Eggo waffle he told me, "Thank you!" As we drove to daycare, I sneezed and he immediately said, "Bless you, Mommy!" And, as we were walking down the path into his classroom, he stepped aside so he could pass another parent and child and he looked up at them and said, "Excuse me!" So I smiled. I gotta be doing SOMETHING right, no?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
Spreading the Holiday Cheer...
Christmas Cards have been sent out! Woo to the hoo!
We did 2 different versions. These are both designed by my wonderful friend and most talented graphic artist, Angela. The link to her website is under my faves on this blog, but for good measure, it's pbkisses.com. I had her do 2 cards because I know there are those that are more "traditional" on our Christmas list and would like a more serene picture of the kid than this first one. But here's the first one...it's my favorite because it perfectly sums up what a 2-year-old goes through on a daily basis:
Isn't this the truth? Why are 2-year-olds so dramatic? My god the crying that goes on around here! Oh, the tunnel on your Thomas train configuration fell apart? The heavens are falling! The bag of animal crackers is empty? Oh the humanity! And so it goes. In this particular series, the kid managed to snag himself a HUGE waffle cone of vanilla ice cream. And I mean HUGE. This thing was spilling over. So mommy had to scrape off just the very top...but it still left him with a ton of ice cream AND a waffle cone...as you can see in the pictures. But mommy messed with HIS ice cream cone. So of course, this was cause for some HUGE crocodile tears. The kid sobbed his way through this entire treat. Seriously. The scene was hilarious. He'd take great dramatic breaths in between spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream. The kid could give Susan Lucci a run for her money.
For those on our card list that may appreciate a happier picture, we did these:
Now to the opposite end of the spectrum. A scene rarely experienced around here. But I LOVE this picture of my son. Our photographer friend named Bobby took this one. He's been taking photos of the kid since he was about 4 months old and he really does capture the essence of my child...and the essence of my family. Anyway, I love this picture because it's just so serene. An incredible capture of a kid that's ALWAYS running around. You don't ever see him sitting quietly in an out-of-the-way place. You can even tell by the look on his face that you caught him out-of-element. It cracks me up...and it warms my heart. Great job, Bobby.
Happy Holidays everyone!
We did 2 different versions. These are both designed by my wonderful friend and most talented graphic artist, Angela. The link to her website is under my faves on this blog, but for good measure, it's pbkisses.com. I had her do 2 cards because I know there are those that are more "traditional" on our Christmas list and would like a more serene picture of the kid than this first one. But here's the first one...it's my favorite because it perfectly sums up what a 2-year-old goes through on a daily basis:
Isn't this the truth? Why are 2-year-olds so dramatic? My god the crying that goes on around here! Oh, the tunnel on your Thomas train configuration fell apart? The heavens are falling! The bag of animal crackers is empty? Oh the humanity! And so it goes. In this particular series, the kid managed to snag himself a HUGE waffle cone of vanilla ice cream. And I mean HUGE. This thing was spilling over. So mommy had to scrape off just the very top...but it still left him with a ton of ice cream AND a waffle cone...as you can see in the pictures. But mommy messed with HIS ice cream cone. So of course, this was cause for some HUGE crocodile tears. The kid sobbed his way through this entire treat. Seriously. The scene was hilarious. He'd take great dramatic breaths in between spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream. The kid could give Susan Lucci a run for her money.
For those on our card list that may appreciate a happier picture, we did these:
Now to the opposite end of the spectrum. A scene rarely experienced around here. But I LOVE this picture of my son. Our photographer friend named Bobby took this one. He's been taking photos of the kid since he was about 4 months old and he really does capture the essence of my child...and the essence of my family. Anyway, I love this picture because it's just so serene. An incredible capture of a kid that's ALWAYS running around. You don't ever see him sitting quietly in an out-of-the-way place. You can even tell by the look on his face that you caught him out-of-element. It cracks me up...and it warms my heart. Great job, Bobby.
Happy Holidays everyone!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
My confession...
I'll admit it. I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. Don't get me wrong, I respect every mom out there for the choices they make in their lives, mostly because I know that those choices are made not for them, but for their children. I don't begrudge stay-at-home moms, in fact, I revere them. I revere them because sometimes I think they are greater women than me, because I know, deep in my heart, that I could not do it. I am weak and need the break that work (and daycare) give me. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I was home for 3 straight days with the kid...alone. M had to work most of the weekend, so it was all about the kid and me. I'm not going to lie, it was tough. In fact, I couldn't WAIT to get back to work on Monday. This sounds horrible and I feel so guilty about it, but it's the honest truth. It's not that I don't love being with my son. It's just that it's so much work. SO MUCH WORK. Moreso than the hardest thing I ever have to do at my job. This is why I bow down to the much under-appreciated stay-at-home mom. Keep on keepin' on, mamas.
So there are days when I drop the kid off at daycare in the morning with a big hug and a kiss and a "buh-bye honey, mommy loves you!". But then there are days, like this morning, when the heartstrings are pulled and the guilt hits you like a tsunami. The kid has recently taken to singing "This Old Man." He loves it. This morning on the car ride to school, he's singing "This Old Man" in the backseat. So I start singing along with him. He stops suddenly and tells me, "No mommy! Amy helps me sing." Amy is his primary caregiver in his classroom. He loves her, which is great, but even better...he actually listens and obeys her. So he wouldn't sing "This Old Man" with mommy...he wanted to sing it with Amy. Then when we get to school, the kid runs off and starts playing with the toys and his friends in the playyard. He's happy as a clam. As I'm giving Amy a run-down of last night and this morning, the kid runs up to me and tells me, "Ok, bye-bye mommy!" Then he waves his hand and starts pushing my legs so I will leave the yard. I laughed it off, but when I got back in my car to drive to work, I practically lost it. Sigh. Somedays it's ok. And I do mean ok because it's never easy. It's never fu*king easy. But sometimes, it's REALLY hard.
So there are days when I drop the kid off at daycare in the morning with a big hug and a kiss and a "buh-bye honey, mommy loves you!". But then there are days, like this morning, when the heartstrings are pulled and the guilt hits you like a tsunami. The kid has recently taken to singing "This Old Man." He loves it. This morning on the car ride to school, he's singing "This Old Man" in the backseat. So I start singing along with him. He stops suddenly and tells me, "No mommy! Amy helps me sing." Amy is his primary caregiver in his classroom. He loves her, which is great, but even better...he actually listens and obeys her. So he wouldn't sing "This Old Man" with mommy...he wanted to sing it with Amy. Then when we get to school, the kid runs off and starts playing with the toys and his friends in the playyard. He's happy as a clam. As I'm giving Amy a run-down of last night and this morning, the kid runs up to me and tells me, "Ok, bye-bye mommy!" Then he waves his hand and starts pushing my legs so I will leave the yard. I laughed it off, but when I got back in my car to drive to work, I practically lost it. Sigh. Somedays it's ok. And I do mean ok because it's never easy. It's never fu*king easy. But sometimes, it's REALLY hard.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
What has daddy been teaching you?
So I'm in the shower this morning and the kid is sitting on my bed watching "Noggin" and eating his Eggo waffle. By the way, when you're a full-time working mom and you've got to get yourself and a 2-year-old ready for the day and out the door, Eggo waffles are your best friend. But I digress.
I climb out of the shower and start brushing my teeth, then I turn around and the kid is standing in front of me holding a bra. He must have fished it from the hamper (or it may have been sitting on top of the hamper as I am not as tidy as I once was) and he just brought it to me. He holds it up and says, "For mommy's boobies." Then he hands me my bra and walks back to bed to continue watching "Wonderpets."
Picture mommy wrapped in a towel with toothbrush in hand and mouth agape. My only response? "Um, thank you honey for being so helpful!"
They pick up on the oddest things, no?
I climb out of the shower and start brushing my teeth, then I turn around and the kid is standing in front of me holding a bra. He must have fished it from the hamper (or it may have been sitting on top of the hamper as I am not as tidy as I once was) and he just brought it to me. He holds it up and says, "For mommy's boobies." Then he hands me my bra and walks back to bed to continue watching "Wonderpets."
Picture mommy wrapped in a towel with toothbrush in hand and mouth agape. My only response? "Um, thank you honey for being so helpful!"
They pick up on the oddest things, no?
Saturday, December 1, 2007
And the Holidays roll on...
Today the kid and I decorated our Christmas tree. This is the first year that the kid is actually old enough to "get" Christmas, so it was kind of exciting. A lot of fun, too. We have an artificial tree that's pre-lit, so all we had to do was put on the ornaments. Little did I know that this process was going to take 3 times as long as it had in the past. Only because the kid had to inspect and ask questions about EVERY ornament.
The absolute best moment, though, was when I first opened our ornament box. As a kid, my mother-in-law had those Hallmark collector's series ornaments for M. His ornament series are these adorable pressed tin trains. They really are cute and each one is dated, so we've got the whole set back to 1982 or so. They are also in immaculate condition because M was meticulous about his stuff when he was a kid. Too bad that didn't pass on to our kid. Anyway, I pulled out our ornament box, lifted the lid and the kid sees the set of trains (he LOVES trains.) He gasps loudly and proclaims in the most dramatic tone, "Oh THANK YOU mommy!" Then he starts pulling out the trains and heads over to his train table to run them through tunnels and over bridges. It's really cute that he loves them as much as M loves them. Although I worry, though, because these trains have survived 25 or so years in perfect condition and they could easily be destroyed in 10 minutes by the kid.
Another cute moment happened when we were hanging our photo ornaments. I've got those little, dated silver-plated frame ornaments from Pottery Barn. The basically have a Christmas photo in them for every year of our marriage. Well, the first one I pull out is from 2005, the kid's first Christmas. As I show it to the kid, he grabs it and points to everyone in the picture, naming each person. Then comes the one from last year and he does the same. He points to each person and says, "Mommy, Daddy, and (the kid)." Then he comes to an ornament from 2003 and of course, it's just got a picture of M and me. So the kid looks at it quizzically and says, "Mommy, Daddy...HEY! Where did (the kid) go?" I looked at him and told him point blank that Mommy and Daddy existed before he did. And that made him mad. Seriously. About 5 minutes later he was still carrying that frame in his hand. He shoved it in my face, pointed at the frame and DEMANDED to know where (the kid) was. Dude, how else do I explain it? LOL! The kid expects that the world revolves around him and therefore, nothing existed before him. Do I have a handful on my hands or what?
So...Holiday cheer continues tomorrow! M has the day off and is putting up the outdoor lights while the kid and I put together our Gingerbread House. Wish us luck.
The absolute best moment, though, was when I first opened our ornament box. As a kid, my mother-in-law had those Hallmark collector's series ornaments for M. His ornament series are these adorable pressed tin trains. They really are cute and each one is dated, so we've got the whole set back to 1982 or so. They are also in immaculate condition because M was meticulous about his stuff when he was a kid. Too bad that didn't pass on to our kid. Anyway, I pulled out our ornament box, lifted the lid and the kid sees the set of trains (he LOVES trains.) He gasps loudly and proclaims in the most dramatic tone, "Oh THANK YOU mommy!" Then he starts pulling out the trains and heads over to his train table to run them through tunnels and over bridges. It's really cute that he loves them as much as M loves them. Although I worry, though, because these trains have survived 25 or so years in perfect condition and they could easily be destroyed in 10 minutes by the kid.
Another cute moment happened when we were hanging our photo ornaments. I've got those little, dated silver-plated frame ornaments from Pottery Barn. The basically have a Christmas photo in them for every year of our marriage. Well, the first one I pull out is from 2005, the kid's first Christmas. As I show it to the kid, he grabs it and points to everyone in the picture, naming each person. Then comes the one from last year and he does the same. He points to each person and says, "Mommy, Daddy, and (the kid)." Then he comes to an ornament from 2003 and of course, it's just got a picture of M and me. So the kid looks at it quizzically and says, "Mommy, Daddy...HEY! Where did (the kid) go?" I looked at him and told him point blank that Mommy and Daddy existed before he did. And that made him mad. Seriously. About 5 minutes later he was still carrying that frame in his hand. He shoved it in my face, pointed at the frame and DEMANDED to know where (the kid) was. Dude, how else do I explain it? LOL! The kid expects that the world revolves around him and therefore, nothing existed before him. Do I have a handful on my hands or what?
So...Holiday cheer continues tomorrow! M has the day off and is putting up the outdoor lights while the kid and I put together our Gingerbread House. Wish us luck.
From the mouths of babes
Ah toddlerspeak. Seriously, they should offer Phd's in trying to make sense of what your 2 year old is telling you. Parents of little boys with poor enunciation would gladly pay someone for this service. The kid is talking a lot now. And I mean A LOT. He had a verbal explosion overnight. And he's not stopping any time soon.
The problem is that we can't always understand what he's saying. I mean, we eventually get it, but you can tell that he's frustrated at us. Dude, you should see the looks he gives us. Like we're complete and utter morons because we can't understand what "washa wa" means. The bigger problem is when he's trying to say something completely ordinary and benign, but it comes out sounding like a word or phrase that should not be used in polite conversation. Parents should not teach little boys to identify trucks until they can clearly speak. The other day we were driving to work/daycare and the kid sees a dump truck pass us on the road. What does he yell out? Yup, you guessed it, "Dumb fu*k!" Nice. Very nice.
At least that time we were in the car and it was just him and me. The other day we were in Target and the kid is sitting in the cart. Out of the blue, he gets super excited and points at something, exclaiming loudly, "Fu*k it, mommy! Fu*k it!" Ok, he's really not trying to say "Fu*k it!" but that's distinctly what it sounds like. And that's exactly what people around me heard. I have yet to figure out what object sounds like "Fu*k it" as I high-tailed it out of there as soon as I could. There were giggles from some people, but there were definitely others who sneered at me with a look that unmistakably said, "Nice parenting skills, jackass." And you know what? I really, REALLY wanted to actually say, "Fu*k it!" to them. I hate being judged.
But then there are times when the kid is RIGHT ON. Take, for example, just the other night at dinnertime. The kid and I are having the usual struggle. He's standing on his chair and I'm nagging at him to sit down. So we're going back and forth arguing and finally, he throws his hands up in the air, tilts his head to the sky and exclaims, "My GOD!" Note that he says this in the SAME inflection as he has heard so many a time from mommy. Then he sits himself down from the sheer frustration of it all. It was like looking in a mirror. Uh oh.
You know the next thing out of his mouth is going to be, "What's your drama, Heather?"
The problem is that we can't always understand what he's saying. I mean, we eventually get it, but you can tell that he's frustrated at us. Dude, you should see the looks he gives us. Like we're complete and utter morons because we can't understand what "washa wa" means. The bigger problem is when he's trying to say something completely ordinary and benign, but it comes out sounding like a word or phrase that should not be used in polite conversation. Parents should not teach little boys to identify trucks until they can clearly speak. The other day we were driving to work/daycare and the kid sees a dump truck pass us on the road. What does he yell out? Yup, you guessed it, "Dumb fu*k!" Nice. Very nice.
At least that time we were in the car and it was just him and me. The other day we were in Target and the kid is sitting in the cart. Out of the blue, he gets super excited and points at something, exclaiming loudly, "Fu*k it, mommy! Fu*k it!" Ok, he's really not trying to say "Fu*k it!" but that's distinctly what it sounds like. And that's exactly what people around me heard. I have yet to figure out what object sounds like "Fu*k it" as I high-tailed it out of there as soon as I could. There were giggles from some people, but there were definitely others who sneered at me with a look that unmistakably said, "Nice parenting skills, jackass." And you know what? I really, REALLY wanted to actually say, "Fu*k it!" to them. I hate being judged.
But then there are times when the kid is RIGHT ON. Take, for example, just the other night at dinnertime. The kid and I are having the usual struggle. He's standing on his chair and I'm nagging at him to sit down. So we're going back and forth arguing and finally, he throws his hands up in the air, tilts his head to the sky and exclaims, "My GOD!" Note that he says this in the SAME inflection as he has heard so many a time from mommy. Then he sits himself down from the sheer frustration of it all. It was like looking in a mirror. Uh oh.
You know the next thing out of his mouth is going to be, "What's your drama, Heather?"
Monday, November 19, 2007
Ho, ho, ho!
Yes, it's not even Thanksgiving. I know that. But when the Holidays come a knockin', I'm answering. I'm the type of person that has all her presents bought by December 1. Christmas decorations must be up the day after Thanksgiving (as much as I am tempted to shop Black Friday, I try to do it all online. I seriously cannot stand crowds.) Christmas Cards must be sent out by the first week of December. And Santa pictures? Practically as soon as Santa's sleigh pulls up to South Coast Plaza, I'm there with a screaming kid in tow. It's all about the Holiday magic, folks.
So this weekend, I'm at the mall as soon as they open on Sunday morning. We walk right up to see Santa (remember how I said I hate crowds?) My severe crowd aversion is the reason I get things done as early as possible. Plus I hate to procrastinate...I hate to leave things to the last minute. It's just not me. I like to get things done and check them off my list...you wouldn't believe the satisfaction I get from crossing things off my list. You want something done? Give it to a busy person.
Ok, I'm not trying to be naive here. I know it will not always be this way. But I will try my best to always keep it this way. I hate when there are things on my list that don't get done. It irks me in a deep place.
But one thing checked off my list! Here's our 2007 Santa picture...plus a retrospective:
And this is the kid's very first visit with Jolly St. Nick. You KNOW the kid is thinking, "What in the hell IS this?"
Just so you know, the outfit the kid is wearing in this year's photo is not what I envisioned. There's the cutest little black velvet blazer that goes along with it. I got it from BabyGap. But as I was struggling to get the kid into the button-up shirt and the blazer, he screamed, "NO! That's Daddy's clothes!" and refused to put them on. I finally wriggled him into the button-up because a topless Santa pic is just NOT going in our family album, but there was no way the kid would relent to the blazer. Sigh. And just for the record, Daddy would not be caught DEAD in a velvet blazer.
ETA - ok, I couldn't help it. Bonus pic. The kid needed a new diaper when we got home and refused to put his pants on after the diaper change (notice a pattern here?) So, a little "Risky Business" action going. Back when Tom Cruise was Tom Cruise and not Crazy McCruise. Anyone know where I can get Rayban Wayfarers for a 2 year old?
So this weekend, I'm at the mall as soon as they open on Sunday morning. We walk right up to see Santa (remember how I said I hate crowds?) My severe crowd aversion is the reason I get things done as early as possible. Plus I hate to procrastinate...I hate to leave things to the last minute. It's just not me. I like to get things done and check them off my list...you wouldn't believe the satisfaction I get from crossing things off my list. You want something done? Give it to a busy person.
Ok, I'm not trying to be naive here. I know it will not always be this way. But I will try my best to always keep it this way. I hate when there are things on my list that don't get done. It irks me in a deep place.
But one thing checked off my list! Here's our 2007 Santa picture...plus a retrospective:
And to Christmases past. Here's the kid last year with Santa. I think Santa might be pinching him:
And this is the kid's very first visit with Jolly St. Nick. You KNOW the kid is thinking, "What in the hell IS this?"
Just so you know, the outfit the kid is wearing in this year's photo is not what I envisioned. There's the cutest little black velvet blazer that goes along with it. I got it from BabyGap. But as I was struggling to get the kid into the button-up shirt and the blazer, he screamed, "NO! That's Daddy's clothes!" and refused to put them on. I finally wriggled him into the button-up because a topless Santa pic is just NOT going in our family album, but there was no way the kid would relent to the blazer. Sigh. And just for the record, Daddy would not be caught DEAD in a velvet blazer.
ETA - ok, I couldn't help it. Bonus pic. The kid needed a new diaper when we got home and refused to put his pants on after the diaper change (notice a pattern here?) So, a little "Risky Business" action going. Back when Tom Cruise was Tom Cruise and not Crazy McCruise. Anyone know where I can get Rayban Wayfarers for a 2 year old?
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